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One of Todd Barry’s wry comedy routines is about a visit to Walgreens, the American steroid-injected pharmacy department store. But when he makes his Israel debut on June 3 at Zappa Tel Aviv and June 4 at Zappa Herzliya as part of the chain’s Funny People series, he’s not planning on localizing it into a SuperPharm bit.“When I perform abroad, if the audience is nice they’ll let me set it up – ‘hey, there’s this place we have in the United States – a big drug store....If they’re there to have a good time they’ll listen and give you the benefit of the doubt,” said the droll 51-yearold comedian and actor last week.A fixture on Comedy Central and in recurring TV roles on Louie and Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist, as well as a slew of animated comedy series, Barry and his insightful observational humor has caught on big, not only with audiences, but with fellow comics.“Todd Barry is a huge comic. He’s always been one of my favorites, there’s never been anyone like him,” said Louis C.K.A

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New York Times

An anonymous reader writes 'A man awaiting trial in Pennsylvania was arrested by Federal agents on Jan. 4, and accused of exploiting a software 'glitch' within slot machines in order to win payouts. The exploit may have allowed the man to obtain more than a million dollars from casinos in Pennsylva. The Florida comedian known offstage as Lee Strong is a longtime working comic, but she achieved some celebrity after making last year’s Top 10 on “America’s Got Talent.”. The 1951-1952 season of The Lucky Strike Program Starring Jack Benny ran from 9/16/51 to 6/1/52 on Sundays at 7:00 p.m. 30-minute episodes (38 episodes total, 30 surviving).

story called Barry a “master standup” and wrote, “When it comes to live performances, there are very few comedians who succeed in making people laugh more than he does.” And none other than Jerry Seinfeld recruited Barry for to appear on his web-based series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.“I’ve known Jerry to say hi in the clubs when we run into each other, but we never had a real conversation before. So I was surprised to get that phone call from him personally asking me to do the show. It was very flattering,” said Barry, who grew up in Florida and graduated from the University of Florida with an English degree in 1986.After spending a couple years as a drummer in an indie rock band (“I was never particularly good”), Barry lined up a slot at a Florida open mic stage in 1987 at one of the hordes of comedy clubs opening up throughout the US.“It was during the comedy boom of the ‘80s and it was pretty easy to get onstage,” said Barry, adding that he had been influenced by the usual funnyman pioneers like Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, George Carlin and Andy Kaufman, as well as a then-little known standup comic from the Midwest named David Letterman.“I was a combination of class clown and shy when I was growing up – sort of a gutless class clown,” he recalled.“I would never do anything that would get me sent to the principal’s office. I was too scared to raise that much trouble.”Barry proved to be a better comedian that drummer, which is a good thing for people who like to laugh. Honing his style through countless standup shows, he discovered what works and what doesn’t. But occasionally, audiences still surprise him.“It’s terrifying to get on stage to make people laugh, and they don’t,” said Barry. “You feel terrible if it doesn’t work, but it also depends on the situation. Sometimes you walk into a situation that you know is not going to work. If the crowd has been terrible the entire night, then you might just be their next victim.”Ironically, Barry went from victim to aggressor when he nabbed a role the 2009 Darren Aronofsky film The Wrestler starring Mickey Rourke. Playing a supermarket manager who demeans Rourke at any chance, Barry got a chance to be the scrawny bully.“It was kind of surreal to be verbally abusing Mickey,” said Barry. “I always admired him but he was someone I had never met. I had to keep reminding myself, ‘it’s an acting job, he knows you’re acting – don’t hold back.’ It was kind of weird though to look at this huge guy and say shitty things to him.”Barry survived the film without receiving a whupping from Rourke and is looking forward to his first visit to Israel.“I had one joke about a yarmulke that I don’t know if I should bring back, it’s so old,” said the Jewish comedian. One theme he won’t be touching for sure is politics.“It’s not my strength, and I don’t like it when people make political comments despite understanding maybe two percent of what they’re talking about. I prefer to stay away from preachiness.”Saying that he was aware of the success of the ongoing Comedy for Koby tours organized by Los Angeles-based comic Avi Liberman for the Koby Mandell Foundation, Barry said he was looking forward to trying out his material on Israeli audiences.“I heard that Avi’s shows are good and well-received. And my friend Sarah Silverman played at the Zappa Club and she said it was really fun,” he said.As long as they know about Walgreens, that is.

Rodney Dangerfield jokes don’t get enough respect! He was the king of self-deprecation. (With the possible exception of Jack Benny.) Here are my favorites of his funny quotations. Rodney died in 2004. His jokes never will.

Rodney's Best, Group 1

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I don't want to interrupt her.
I'm at the age where food has taken over the role of sex in my life. In fact last night, I put a mirror over my kitchen table.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He told me I was being ridiculous. I haven't met everyone yet.
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. Last night she told me to put the garbage out. I told her I already did. She told me to go keep an eye on it.
Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.
I went out with a girl so fat, her belly button had an echo.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Rodney Dangerfield Jokes:
Group 2

I was so ugly, my mother breast fed me through a straw.
I was so ugly, when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
I was so ugly, when I'd play in the sandbox, the cat would keep covering me up.
I was so ugly, my dad carried around pictures of the kid that came with the wallet.
I was so ugly, my mother got morning sickness after I was born.
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
I wanna tell you I was ugly. I was so ugly, I went to the proctologist and he stuck his fingers in my mouth.

I went to the doctor and said, 'Doc, every morning when I wake up and look in the mirror, I throw up. What's wrong?' The doctor said, 'I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.'
I went to the doctor because I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
My wife, she's another one. Last night our house caught fire and I heard tell the kids, 'Shhh, be quiet; you'll wake your father.'

Rodney Dangerfield Jokes:
Group 3

Boy was I poor growing up. If I wasn't a boy, I'd have had nothing to play with.
My parents hated me as a kid. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I remember when I was kidnapped. They sent my parents a piece of my finger. My father said he wanted more proof.
My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap. He was in the electric chair.
One day as I was coming home from work early, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said, 'Hey buddy, why are you jogging naked?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.

Rodney Dangerfield Jokes:
Group 4

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

I get no respect. I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

Rodney Dangerfield Jokes:
Group 5

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Yeah, I know I'm ugly. I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said, 'God beat me to it.'

My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.

Rodney Dangerfield Jokes:
Group 6

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I dated a girl. She called me on the phone and said, 'Come over; there's no one home.' I went over, THERE WAS NO ONE HOME!
My wife likes to talk during sex. Last night she called me from a hotel.

I like to go to bed with 2 girls. That way when I fall asleep, they can talk to each other.

Never tell your wife she’s lousy in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

My wife wants sex in the back of the car, and she wants me to drive.

When I got divorced, it was group sex. My wife screwed me in front of the jury.

Last Christmas I got no respect. In my stocking I got an odor eater.

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If you enjoyed these Rodney Dangerfield jokes, feel free to bang the 'Like' button, the 'Share' button, or any button you like.

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Just not the 'No Respect' button.